Last time I taught, I brought up the Buddhist idea of "The Four Karmas". In this case, the word "Karma" is translated as "action". Karma is an enormous set of concepts with various meanings in different contexts. But when we talk about "The Four Karmas" the word really just means "Action" or "Activity".
The four are: "Pacify" "Enrich" "Magnetize" and "Destroy".
Last class I talked about "Pacify" and "Destroy" because those two are the easiest to relate to in the practice of sitting meditation. When we are relating with our thoughts and our experience in meditation, those two actions are useful and beneficial and kind of fun.
Relating with your thoughts via the Pacifying karma is being super gentle with them. Popping the thought bubble with a feather. "Thinking". You can even talk with yourself in a gentle and pacifying way... "I know you are frustrated. I get that you are angry. You are safe here. It's going to be ok." I run the risk of sounding pedantic here but I actually mean it. We are not very kind with ourselves. It's incredibly powerful to examine the tone of your voice as you narrate your life and modulate it to show yourself more kindness.
Relating with your thoughts via the "Destroying" or "Cutting" action is just to cut through. Just simply cut. The thoughts stop, the story stops, the drama stops. And you are just sitting there with your plain naked experience. Then you hang out in that space for a while and see what happens next.
In general, I would say we want to use "Pacifying" 95% of the time and "Destroying" 5% of the time.
Also, please don't use "Destroying" on other people. This is a sharp weapon, and until you are very experienced wielding it on yourself, don't try it with others.
Ok, so the other two Karmas are "Enriching" and "Magnitizing". These are less obvious to use with yourself, and more obvious in the world, but we are going to try them today just to get a sense of how they work.
If I was to relate with my thoughts with the "Enriching" action, I would praise them. I would encourage them. I would make them feel special. This is a great approach when we are feeling down about yourselves. When we have a lot of negative self talk, when our inner critic is just out of control, we can enrich ourselves by calling out our good qualities, remembering the ways we have benefited others, or the challenges we have overcome.
I used to think that this kind of self-praise was ego re-enforcing and by doing this I was moving away from becoming enlightened, but now I think that's stupid. The ego will use everything in its reach to re-enforce itself - which includes negative thoughts and self flagellation. So speaking with yourself from an Enriching point of view is no problem except if you are just comparing yourself to other people or if you get obsessed with it and lose perspective.
If I was to relate with myself with the "Magnetizing" action, I would invite myself in. I would get to know myself as I really am - warts and all. Sometimes Magnetizing seems like charisma and seduction, but it's actually more like acceptance. "I see you, thoughts. I see how angry you are. I see how jealous you feel. You don't have to change. You don't have to calm down. We can sit here together with these feelings just as they are."
We are going to try this together alone in meditation, but before we do, if you think about these middle two karmas more, you will start to see them show up in daily life. These two are particularly useful styles of action when relating with other people. But first you have to taste them and get used to them yourself, dealing with your own thoughts. Otherwise it comes off as fake, inauthentic. People can smell insincerity from a loooong way away.