Welcome. For those of you new to Mindful Aware, the format is pretty simple: we start at 9am ET on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We usually have a talk for 10-12 minutes, and then we practice together until 9:30. If you want to stay and talk, some people stay after until 9:45 or 10 to discuss meditation or life in general. You can come every time or drop in whenever suits you. There's no cost to this, although we may figure out a way to take donations eventually.
Sometimes we do series of talks, sometimes we present on whatever is coming up for us at the moment, and sometimes we just sit quietly. Overall, the teachings are "Buddhist inspired" but we're completely non-denominational, with no expectation that you all are from a particular spiritual tradition.
Today is the fourth talk/meditation on the [[Four Immeasurables]], so you are joining at the tail end of a series of talks. The Four Immeasurables actually pre-date Buddhism. They can be found for example almost word for word in Patangali's Yoga Sutras.
BKS Iyengar, who many of you know as the main teacher of the Iyengar school of yoga, translated the "Four Immeasurables" like this:
quote
For those new folks who are now wondering if you stumbled into a undergrad seminar, please don't worry. I sometimes get carried away with the whole history of religion thing, but we will get to modern applications very soon.
Over the last week, we've talked about the first three Immeasurables: Love or Happiness, Compassion and Joy. Today I'm going to talk about the fourth, equanimity, and then we are going to practice it.
One definition of equanimity in this context is "freedom from powerful reactions, positive or negative, to a person or an event—the ability to be even-minded toward everyone"
A common misunderstanding of equanimity, one that I've made for decades myself, is that equanimity comes from distance... being separate. By viewing everyone or everything as far away from you, insulated from you, unimportant to you, you can be even-minded towards them. Like these things are so small and unimportant that they don't upset my equanimity. That is NOT what we are talking about.
If you think of our reactions, positive and negative, as a roller coaster, I'm not talking about about pounding down the highs and lows. That might happen naturally, but it might not. The best way to develop equanimity is to NOTICE WHEN YOU ARE GETTING ON THE ROLLERCOASTER. In other words, look for the moment before the ride carries you away. Before the kid drives you absolutely insane with his request to get another glass of water or before you cut off the person on the road.
If we can develop a little more awareness of the moments leading up to the highs and lows of life, then we can start to extend that awareness into those big ups and downs. And then we start to feel maybe some options open up. Or at the very least we feel our life more instead of being lashed in and battered by the actions of people and events. In my experience, that's the way to develop equanimity.
Ok, let's try it.
Take your seat.
After we've settled our body we think of our intention - why did we come here today?
Take a few deep breaths and just simply feel the feeling of your body breathing. Give yourself permission to experience your breathing. You don't have to change anything. But place your attention firmly on just that feeling of breathing.
It's hard right! Instead of getting mad at yourself, get curious. Why is it so hard to pay attention to our breath? Try again.
We are going to use this little experience as a way to practice equanimity. Just to set expectations, I don't think we are going to get anywhere this morning. Developing equanimity by seeing the gap, seeing when we are getting on the roller coaster, takes time. This will just be a taste. So please be gentle with yourself. Go easy on yourself. Place your attention back on the feeling of your body breathing.
When you find yourself lost in thought and totally disconnected from the feeling of your body breathing, just gently bring your attention back.
Again and again. Keep gently steering your attention back to the feeling of your body breathing.
Can you experience the feeling of your attention starting to wander? First your attention is on your breath... then it starts to wander into some thought that is frankly much more interesting... you are now in the boarding zone for the roller coaster. Can you choose to not get on the ride, and instead stay here with the feeling of your body breathing?
I think you all get the analogy. We are developing equanimity here with ourselves so that when we engage with other people or other events, we can be more effective and more helpful.
Ok drop the technique and relax...
We are going to close by doing this chant called the Four Immeasurables. Hopefully after the last two weeks this has more meaning for you. I know it does for me.